


You Don't Belong Here

by mellifluousfika



Series: Over Any Other [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-08 00:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19096042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellifluousfika/pseuds/mellifluousfika
Summary: In Russia, you and Natasha share a moment.





	You Don't Belong Here

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm jaye and i'm a shitty writer lmao please bear with me

“Don’t shut me out, Nat.”

It’s late, seventeen minutes into a new day, and you feel like your head is about to blow. It’s an all-encompassing headache that refuses to subside no matter what you do. You had expected it to happen, yet done little to prevent it from forming. You’ve been awake for 70 hours straight, ever since Tony woke you up in the dead of night telling you he had a lead on Natasha’s whereabouts. _She’s_ _in_ _Russia_ , he had told you. For some reason, you hadn’t been surprised.

You knew she was struggling. Years of learning to accept her past, learning to let others in, learning to love _you_ had gone to waste. The Red Room was thriving, and the news had sent Natasha spiraling. Nightmares that had ceased over time had become frequent once again, and you weren’t able to do much other than watch, distraught, as Natasha isolated herself. Where she’d learned to open up, she was now withdrawn. Where she was understanding, she grew harsh and unforgiving. The woman that you’d fallen in love with was disappearing, and you were unable to do anything except watch.

You weren’t a skilled assassin, a super soldier, or even a talented archer. You were a human who wanted to do good; an engineer who wanted to make the world a little more bearable, one day at a time. A desk agent turned vigilante following the fall of SHIELD, you relied on Tony Stark’s technology to make something of yourself. You had been one of the many souls he’d taken on a fatherly role for, and you knew for as long as you lived there would be nothing you could do that could ever express the gratitude you had. He’d been the one to get you into SHIELD in the first place. You were the daughter of an MIT friend of his who had died too soon in an unfortunate accident. Lacking a maternal role, or anyone else beyond your father, Tony had taken you in and given you everything you needed.

“Why did you choose me, Y/N? You know me. You know my past, what I did, who I am,” Natasha’s voice comes flat, and she doesn’t feel anything beyond numbness from both her pain and the cold temperature. Had it been anyone but you, she wouldn’t bother with anything beyond a clean snap of neck, but you were different – you were a beacon of light in the darkness that consumed her.

“I expected you to stay in New York, with Tony. You don’t – you don’t belong here, or with me. I don’t – you – “ Natasha is frustrated, and perhaps for that reason the blow to your heart isn’t so sharp. “I’m covered in blood, Y/N. Shouldn’t that be enough to show you I’m a monster?”

“Thank God it isn’t my turn to do laundry this week,” you mutter, and the words are enough to draw a small, pained chuckle from the redhead. You muster up a smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. In the three years you’d been together, only for the first two did the redhead question your love for her – it pained you to return to those dark days. A part of you suspected she never stopped questioning, though, even if it wasn’t a spoken doubt.

“You are not a monster, Nat. You’ve lived, you’ve lost, you’ve fought. It isn’t your fault you got dealt all the wrong cards.” The silence that hangs between both of you is tense, but you’re unwavering, staring straight at her with a fierce look. You love her. You always have, and you always will. And you’ll do anything to make her see it.

The look makes Natasha falter, a well-prepared argument dying on her tongue. “I love you,” she whispers.

“There’s nothing you can do – nothing you can say – that will tear me away from you. I love you; all parts of you. The good, the bad. From this day until our last.” You sound so sure of yourself that tears subconsciously well up in Natasha’s eyes. _Love_ _is_ _weakness_. That is what she’d been taught for so long. But then you had come and torn that idea to shred. You gave her the strength she never knew she lacked.

There you both are, in the middle of fucking nowhere in Russia, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies, and you know now there’s a long road ahead of you both before you can truly feel content with your lives, but here in this moment, you feel the most hope you’ve had in years.

“Take me home, Y/N.”

Leaning in, you press a soft kiss to her forehead, uncaring of the sweat and grime and dirt that was accumulated on her face. “Always.”

You’d never been happier to do as told.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how many parts this series will have, or how frequently it'll be updated, but we'll see. Hope you liked it!


End file.
